luminosus | for shipping's sake

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for shipping's sake– i mean

[Summer's just about nearing its end, bringing with it a new school year. There were only a couple of days left until children would have to adapt from their wont of staying up all night and sleeping in all day to rising early in the morning to attend their classes.

Pacifica wasn't so bothered by the idea of having to attend school again; after all, her best friend, Gideon Pines, had left sometime last week to return to his home for last minute preparations for his school by his parents, or something like that. Really, without him, there was very little for her to do and there was no motivation to do anything anymore. She was right back where she used to be before his arrival: alone, with only her parents to company her.

...And after being informed by Gideon of what happened after she was shooed away, she thought it best to avoid coming into contact with the sinister twins for a while. That while had involved her whiling away her time at home for several weeks, which winded down to present time. To say that she wasn't concerned about the aftermath there would be a lie.

So, eventually, she came to the decision of treading over there to at least check up on the Gleeful boy. Of course, she had to be careful; there was no telling what would be Dipper's response to everything and his overall demeanour and she especially didn't know if he had a new set of tricks up his sleeve. And with Gideon no longer present to rescue her in the event that things did go wrong, she would definitely be in trouble.

Cautiously, she approaches the household, lightly rapping the door with her knuckles before taking a few steps back. ...Just in case Mabel answered and she needed a getaway.

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[Pacifica bites her lower lip, taking that gesture of his as an answer. She sits there helpless for a few moments more before kicking off her shoes, moving back on the bed a bit. She comes behind him, sitting on her knees, and wraps her arms around him in an embrace. Her forehead presses against the nape of his neck as she stays there. Honestly, it's all that she can think of doing: holding him in attempts to be comforting. Consoling. To let him know that everything will be okay and that they'll figure something out and—

She doesn't know these things for sure though, but optimism has always been on her side thus far. She doesn't know why it wouldn't be now.

Her hold on him tightens slightly as she holds him closer, trying to formulate some type of verbal response other than her physical actions. When she speaks, her voice is somewhat shaky and quiet, as if she's uncertain about her words. In all honesty, she's not exactly sure how it'll help, but she says them nonetheless, adjusting her grip on him.]

...It's okay to cry, you know. It'll get everything off your chest, and you'll feel better.

I'm still here for you. I won't leave until you want me to, because... we're in this together, you know?

[The boy seizes up when Pacifica suddenly embraces him, but not entirely as a negative response. For a long time he just sits there, stunned, not sure what to make of this sudden gesture. For him, physical contact isn't uncommon. Heck, normally he's the one doing it first, particularly if it's to charm a girl into speechlessness. But this.....this wasn't anything like he was used to.

His breath stills when she speaks, his eyes staring blankly over her shoulder. Before the last words have left her lips he's already breaking down, his body trembling as he practically folds into her arms, his head slowly bowing until his face is pressed into her shoulder.

He does try to hold it back regardless of what she said, but it's really no use. His fingers tightly grip the material of the back of her blouse as he sobs wretchedly, for once letting out all of those tormenting emotions that he usually kept bottled up inside until it ended with someone being mutilated. It's sad to listen to, especially when one stops for a moment to remember....

...he's 12.
He likes to think he's got it all under control, but in actuality he's just a kid. A kid who grew up way too fast because he liked it that way, one who never gave himself a chance to actually be just that.
A kid.

And that's what Dipper Gleeful has suddenly amounted to.]

[As soon as he practically collapses in her arms, Pacifica holds him closer, occasionally running her hand up and down his back to comfort him. She's startled when he suddenly grips the back of her shirt but her shock is fleeting; she just lets him stay there within her arms to cry his heart out until he's content. She gently rocks him side to side, humming lightly to herself as she pats his back further, like what a mother would do with their child when they sought console.

It's so... odd seeing him break down like this, quivering beneath her arms, sobbing hysterically. She doesn't think that it's shameful, no, because as she mentioned, he's still human. No matter his reputation or disposition, he's still a human being, capable of emotions. And she can tell by the way he is now that he's never let such emotions show up until now, perhaps out of fear of seeming inferior. What she's seen of him is that stone-faced, cold-hearted, ruthless psychopath with no respect towards others' feelings that forced others to do his bidding.

But now, she's seen a side of him that, if she hadn't known any better, she wouldn't even believed could exist. She's sure if Gideon were to see him right now, he wouldn't even recognise him as the Dipper Gleeful he knew.

Though, those thoughts are irrelevant right now. Pacifica looks down at him, still cradling and rocking him, continuing to hum to herself. Rather, it's as if she's humming to try and lull or uplift him.]

[Pacifica's comforting is both incredibly foreign and welcomed at the same time. It seems like when she pulls him close and consoles him like that, it only prompts him to cry harder. He can't entirely help it, but for the moment he's lost all energy or will to really care.

This continues on for quite some time, until Dipper has reduced himself to uncontrollable gasping that he continues to stifle in Pacifica's shoulder. Thank God they're home alone. Then again, if anyone did walk in on them like this he probably wouldn't have been able to muster the incentive to drive them out.
When he finally starts to quiet down he finds himself leaning against the girl, practically curled in her embrace. Everything in him yearns for comfort and solace, and she's the source of that. It's....bizarre, really, but he doesn't care.

He continues to gasp as he turns his head slightly, hiding his face in her neck instead of her shoulder. Still he doesn't speak- mostly because he can't- but that simple gesture is enough to tell her what he wanted to say.

Thank you.]

[Pacifica gives a gentle smile and a nod at his gesture, letting her hand rest on his back for a few extra seconds as she finally stops rocking. Then she finally brings her hand up, playing with his hair or, at the very least, trying to bring it back to its former decency. She still continues to hold him, not planning on releasing him until he's ready to do so. So, she basks in the silence, idly playing with his brown locks, twirling some around her finger or tucking some to the side. After a while, she finally speaks up. Her voice is slightly teasing, but for the most part, it's genuine.]

So, feeling better, are we?

[The more she plays with his hair the more he relaxes and calms down, not moving from her arms even though traces of tears are still on his face. No doubt he's already made quite a mess of both of their shirts. He manages to grin slightly and give a slight nod, feeling quite spent after all that.]

...M-mostly.

[True, he doesn't feel better persay, but he doesn't feel the crushing depression and frustration that he did a few moments ago. He hadn't realized how much it was starting to build inside him until he finally let it all out.]

[She can't help but give a small laugh as she continues to mess with his hair, closing her eyes as she does so.]

Well, mostly is better than nothing. I told you it was better to let it out than keeping your feelings bottled in...

...I'm....surprised you're s-still here. ...With me.

[After all that, particularly.

He sighs, letting his head remain on her shoulder as she runs her fingers through his hair, the sensation sending chills down his spine. If it could be permit-able, he would be content to just sit here forever and never do anything else. While his accomplishments generally gave him a certain amount of satisfaction, something about this was lasting. Everything else was about instant gratification. He has yet to learn the long-term benefits of refraining from being absolutely horrible.]

Mm, what d'ya mean? Crying's lonely when you're alone, isn't it?

[She pauses for a moment, looking down at him.]

...I couldn't leave you alone by yourself, you know. ...I told you we were in this together.

[Dipper's smile grows only just, his eyes opening enough so he can look up at her. He'll be watching to see just how long she'll stick around like she keeps saying she will, because no matter what he'll be doubtful. ...But still.

His expression softens and he sits up a bit, not totally moving away from her just yet.]

Well.....consider this a token of my gratitude.

[With that, he leans forwards and kisses her again, though this time it's not at all like any of the other kisses he's ever given her. This one is incredibly gentle and slow, evident that he still doesn't quite know what he's doing entirely and yet doesn't want to make a mistake.
Really, he just wants to prove to her how much he really does appreciate what she's done for him.]

[She hadn't expected for him to kiss her again, so she blinks a few times in surprise before the reality sets in. Honestly, she should've been used to this by now, considering the many times they had done it before. Granted, they were brief, but the point still stands. It never fails to send her heart aflutter, but she does manage to keep her composure this time. Her eyes fall closed, and she's hit with memories all of a sudden. Memories of their first kiss actually. Despite his viewpoint of her back then, it does manage to make her smile.]

[He draws back after a moment to take a breath, but instead of moving in to give her another kiss he simply leans forwards and wraps his arms around her instead, falling into that same position of them embracing each other like before, only this time he isn't bawling.

The memory of their first kiss is pretty fresh in his mind as well. Not at all how he expected his first kiss to go, and not at all with the person he was expecting. Now, though, he's glad it happened.
Somehow, all of that led to this ultimatum anyway.

Dipper turns his head slightly so he can kiss her cheek, still sitting there with his arms comfortably around her as they sit there on the edge of his bed. His words are whispered, but honest, at the very least.]

I cannot promise immediate results, but....I'm going to try. ....to be better. For you.

[Pacifica leans more into him, finding herself lulled by his warmth and secured by his arms wrapped around her. The ambiance is pleasing, something that she wouldn't really mind staying in for a long while. Of course, she knows she can't, that she'll have to go home eventually and that she couldn't visit him often, but still. Nonetheless, she seems to giggle lightly at he kisses her cheek, eyes still remaining closed as she listens to his words. Then she shifts upward a bit, blinking a few times as she looks at him. Her surprised expression soon morphs into a gentle but slightly excited smile as she bounces slightly.]

...You are? That's... Ehehe, thank you. I'm really proud of you.

[She reaches up to ruffle his hair affectionately, grinning. In all honesty, she's elated beyond belief that he's actually deciding to give himself a chance to change for the better rather than casting himself off as a terrible monster who couldn't and shouldn't.

But another concern soon comes to mind as her expression falters somewhat, and she lets her hand drop to her side.]

So, um... What should we– ...Mm. ...You know, so this doesn't get out, like you said, but we... can still do this. What should we... do about that?

[Which roughly translates to something along the lines of "How do we continue seeing each other without someone finding out?"]

[He makes a face at that. Did she really go to all the trouble of fixing his hair just to mess it up again? That was torture, really.

Her question though causes him to pause as well, thinking. Well, he could suggest that she disguise herself, but that in itself might be too risky. He slowly looks around the room as he ponders over this, his eyes straying again to the dresser.]

Ever since Gideon destroyed my amulet, most of my family has been wise to....give me a bit of a wide berth. If I suggested every now and then that I wanted to be left alone I'm sure I could trust to have my privacy intact. I'm quite the escape artist you know....it wouldn't be hard to slip away and make it to some sort of meeting spot, away from prying eyes.

..That is, if you're brave enough.

[Pacifica snorts with laughter at his grimace, though she stops before it turns into something truly outrageous. She reaches back up to fix his hair; after all, she knows image means everything to him. ...Though, to be perfectly honest, that was pretty hilarious.

When she's done, she sits her hands in her lap, nodding in understanding. Well, that could work. All they needed was to designate a place and time.]

Mm... My parents should be cool with me leaving the house, so it's all good on my end. ...Though, I don't know what you mean by brave.

Well....there's a certain element of risk in us getting caught no matter how careful we are, isn't there?

And I don't know about you, but I'm pretty sure if my sister happened to catch us we may as well be meeting to write our wills.

...True. That's true. Well, there's still the chance that she might not, you know?

Maybe we should plan on the days when she's out with Candy and Grenda.

[A better question is, when is she not with them? Drowning her sorrows from Gideon being gone in the pain and suffering of others, no doubt.]

That shouldn't be too hard. The only thing we need to do now is think of a way to contact each other beyond cell phones or word of mouth, neither of which is exactly...trustworthy most of the time.

It might just be safer if we refrain from any contact other than on the days we've planned for it.

Yeah, you're right. That might be better.

[Pacifica looks up towards the ceiling and taps her chin as she thinks, then slowly returns her gaze back to him.]

Maybe we could leave some sort of marking on a path we both use to signal to each other? Like... a ribbon or something.

[He chuckles. This is sounding more and more like a forbidden love romance novel with each passing moment.]

That could work. Would definitely draw less attention than, say, shooting a flare or something.

[That's because it pretty much is. As far as she's concerned, anyway.]

Why would you– ...Please don't tell me that's what you were thinking.

[At that he actually lets out a laugh: a genuine laugh.]

Trust me dear, I know where and when a bit of a light show is appropriate, and when you need to be stealthy that isn't quite the way to go about it.

I know that...

[She doesn't even know where the mention of flares even came from. She sighs, shaking her head.]

...Well, you can show me all the fireworks you want when we're actually... alone.

[His smile broadens as he reaches out to take her hand, carefully intertwining their fingers.]

Oh, don't worry.

I intend to.

[She giggles sheepishly, letting a smile of her own come onto her lips. Her eyes glance down at their hands, and she gently squeezes his as she looks back towards him.]

I'm glad.

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for shipping's sake– i mean

the progress with these two is incredible

SERIOUSLYyyy I do NOT have any icons for this

NEITHER DO I... also i had to REWRITE THIS thanks Chrome

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