luminosus | for shipping's sake

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for shipping's sake– i mean

[Summer's just about nearing its end, bringing with it a new school year. There were only a couple of days left until children would have to adapt from their wont of staying up all night and sleeping in all day to rising early in the morning to attend their classes.

Pacifica wasn't so bothered by the idea of having to attend school again; after all, her best friend, Gideon Pines, had left sometime last week to return to his home for last minute preparations for his school by his parents, or something like that. Really, without him, there was very little for her to do and there was no motivation to do anything anymore. She was right back where she used to be before his arrival: alone, with only her parents to company her.

...And after being informed by Gideon of what happened after she was shooed away, she thought it best to avoid coming into contact with the sinister twins for a while. That while had involved her whiling away her time at home for several weeks, which winded down to present time. To say that she wasn't concerned about the aftermath there would be a lie.

So, eventually, she came to the decision of treading over there to at least check up on the Gleeful boy. Of course, she had to be careful; there was no telling what would be Dipper's response to everything and his overall demeanour and she especially didn't know if he had a new set of tricks up his sleeve. And with Gideon no longer present to rescue her in the event that things did go wrong, she would definitely be in trouble.

Cautiously, she approaches the household, lightly rapping the door with her knuckles before taking a few steps back. ...Just in case Mabel answered and she needed a getaway.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I suppose. If that's the case it's going to take a while before we can find anything else.

[Huh. ..it feels so odd, using plurals in talking about things concerning the journals and the mythical objects and creatures written about in them. Usually such conversation was only reserved for he and his sister.]

...I have my own condition I need to tell you about, actually.

Oh yeah, true. ...Mm.

[Well, this was something: helping your best friend's nemesis get back on his feet with power. At least she had decided to do this after the boy had left. For what would be an tremendous amount of time, for about nine or ten months at the most. Hopefully, this absence would be enough to alleviate the rivalry that Gideon and Dipper had with one another and their most recent encounter. ...She hoped so, at least.]

...Huh? What's your condition?

...This? Between us?

[He gestures a little with his hand before letting it drop back into his lap.]

Doesn't get out. To anyone. Ever. Do you understand?

[...Was that it? She just barely stifles a snort as she breaks out into a bout of laughter. That wasn't the condition she had been expecting, but she could do that.]

Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, so it's all good with me.

[He squints, sitting up a bit. It might seem trivial to her, but it's important to him. If something like this got out he'd be a joke, especially considering how he usually tried to publicly humiliate her and Gideon on a regular basis. If not that, he would just turn the other cheek when Mabel got started picking on the girl.
He would just have to continue doing that.]

Yes, you never exactly struck me as one who enjoys PDA.

[Oh, rest assured, she knows better than to let it slip. She already goes through a lot with Mabel in the first place, and there's no doubt that the brunette would be furious beyond belief if she found out what happened between Pacifica and her brother. She may seem nonchalant about it, but she already knows that one - she doesn't want to be subjected to more misery than she already goes to, and two - Dipper's image means everything to him, considering the fuss he made over his lack of amulet. She's not going to make things any worse than they already are.

But even so, the idea of forbidden romance and clandestine meetings attracts her. It's almost like Romeo and Juliet... except preferably without the many deaths involved.

She doesn't dwell on that though. Her lips purse as she raises an eyebrow at him, practically pouting childishly.]

...What do you mean by that?

Edited ('though though' wow ok) 2013-10-18 01:55 (UTC)

Well....if I were a different type of person..

[He smiles slightly as he talks, reaching to wrap an arm around her waist.]

I would be courting you and parading you all over town. I wouldn't have any problems with sweeping you right off your feet before kissing you deeply right in front of everyone, if the opportunity arose.

But of course....I don't think you would be very keen on that sort of thing. You're lucky I generally tend to keep most of my affairs....private.

E... E-Eeeeh...?!

[If there was an award for who was able to make her flustered the most, it would most certainly go to you, Dipper. With a barely stifled embarrassed whine, she leans closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder as she tries to recover her composure. He most certainly had charisma on his side; why, he might as well be considered the definition of charismatic, given how... suave he and his words were.]

G-Gosh, um... That's... W-Wow.

[A sheepish giggle escapes her lips now as she moves her head to look up at him.]

I-If you were that type of person, then... I guess I wouldn't mind... because it's you.

[Somehow he doubts that, but the way just him saying it aloud affects her is enough to bring a smile to his face. He watches her out of the corner of his eye for a moment, not bothering to move his head or say anything else. Something about just....sitting there, talking with her like this was....nice. He couldn't quite explain why, it just was. Admittedly, the past few, frantic weeks of searching for a replacement for his broken amulet had been both stressful and lonely. Sure he had Mabel helping him, but it was obvious that she wasn't at all happy to be doing it considering he had 'slipped up enough' to get his amulet broken.

You're going SOFT, Dipper!

He lets his eyes drift closed, letting himself focus for the moment on the feeling of Pacifica's head on his shoulder. The sound of her quiet breathing, the warmth of her sitting up close to him...

In the silence that follows he leans a bit closer to her, reaching his other hand around to turn her face towards his. He takes a short breath before leaning in close to her, just enough so he can give her a brief kiss before pulling back and letting his forehead rest against hers. In the dimly lit room his vibrant blue, half-lidded eyes almost seem to glow as he looks at her quietly. When he speaks again his voice is unusually soft and low.]

I know you think I'm not a bad person, Pacifica. I can see that you believe that I can change. ...Maybe I am changing and I just don't know it yet.

..but do know that I am a terrible person. I'm wicked and cruel....and my intentions are on uneven ground.

And I...

[He tries to keep his expression level, but the more he talks the harder it becomes. By now his eyes are squinted and his mouth slightly parted as he tries to think of what else he was trying to say. In fact, he doesn't trust his voice enough to even say anything else. Instead he just sits there, leaning against her with his hardened expression finally melting into a pained one that only she will ever see.]

[Pacifica blinks slowly when he pulls away from their kiss, ending as suddenly as it had began. Not that she's really startled by that; no, what really confuses her is the direct eye contact they have with one another as their foreheads are pressed together. Those dazzling blue eyes of his are entrancing to her, but she knows better than to let herself be dazed by them. There has to be some reason that they're like this, a reason that presents itself very soon as he begins to speak.

She listens to him quietly, unsure of how to respond. After all, his words are true, but still... Seeing this side of him hurts her. After a while of thinking, she finally manages to at least come up with some type of reply. It's not at all a sensible one, but it's a response nonetheless.]

Mm... I know, Dipper. Trust me, I know. I knew exactly what I was getting into... I knew that you were the last person that I should've... mm. That I should've fell in love with, given your actions and your demeanour...

[Here, she pauses, trying to regain her thoughts.]

...But I can look past that. I can forgive you. And I can wait as long as you need, because you are changing...

[She leans up to peck his lips again before pulling away, giving him a soft smile.]

...even if you haven't realised it yet.

[It's hard to believe that she would even have the capacity to forgive him at all after all the horrendous things he's done to her and Gideon in the past. In addition, there are many things he's done that she doesn't even know about, things she probably would never want to know about. He's pretty good at not leaving a blood trail, but even then he knows he won't be able to hide everything from her forever...especially if they keep doing...this.

But her words strike him numb, rendering him speechless up until her giving him another kiss. His eyes widen slightly, his breath catching in his throat in a somewhat stifled laugh. For the first time, he doesn't know how to respond. He just stays quiet, his eyes still watching her carefully.
Truth be told, he's currently counting down the days before something happens and he snaps and hurts her. At that point he's certain- if he doesn't grievously injure her or worse- she'll come to her senses and leave without ever looking back.

He closes his eyes briefly due to them having begun to sting from keeping his gaze steady, his shoulders jerking slightly when he feels something hot against his cheek. Reaching his hands up he brushes his fingertips against the side of his face in surprise, though it doesn't show on his expression, which is still contorted with....sadness? ..It's quite hard to tell in the instant he pulls away to look at his hand, before he quickly pulls back from Pacifica completely so he can press his sleeve to his eyes, cursing under his breath.

The pressure has never been so great on his shoulders before, but even under an immense amount of stress he never cracked.

Only once, when the amulet was destroyed....but that was in private.

Of course he would have to pick this very moment to cry.]

[Pacifica leans back, startled by him suddenly turning away to dab at his eyes with his sleeve. She doesn't say anything though; she just watches him silently, expression turning into one of the utmost concern. She hasn't any idea what to do or what to say. All she can do is just sit there with her hands pressing hard into the bed, watching him with a despondent look.

For some reason, she blames herself entirely for this; though, to be fair, she hadn't expected that her feelings would have been requited. Honestly, she had expected that she would have been the one crying, and yet... here Dipper was doing that for her. She knows exactly why, too; at least, she has a good feeling about why. Still, she's never seen him cry before. There's been a lot of things that he's just now been doing in the span of them being here together.

After a while of silence, she gives a soft sigh, averting her gaze to the floor.]

...I'm sorry. I...

[She stops mid-sentence, not wanting to say what she was going to. She doesn't want to leave him here alone, no, but... isn't her presence making things worse? Maybe she should've let sleeping dogs lie and let them stay as enemies instead of trying to find romance. That would have been for the better, wouldn't it? Yet, what she's seen so far today has told her otherwise.

She doesn't know what to do.]

...Should I leave? Would that be... better for you?

[Dipper shakes his head a bit, gritting his teeth as more tears fall without his permission. It's not exactly something he can stop now that it's started, regardless of how much he wants to. He can feel his face burning hotly with embarrassment and the overwhelming shame over her seeing him like this. He can't answer her audibly but no, he doesn't want her to leave.
Not really.

He just wishes he would have been able to hold himself together a bit longer than this. It was pathetic. She's not the one who should be apologizing here.

Dipper sniffs and takes a breath to try and steal himself, rubbing his eyes again before sitting up a bit straighter, staring across the room at the far wall. The attempt is valiant but feeble, with tears quickly coursing down his cheeks to replace the ones he managed to brush away.

Pathetic....]

Ghh...

[Pacifica bites her lower lip, taking that gesture of his as an answer. She sits there helpless for a few moments more before kicking off her shoes, moving back on the bed a bit. She comes behind him, sitting on her knees, and wraps her arms around him in an embrace. Her forehead presses against the nape of his neck as she stays there. Honestly, it's all that she can think of doing: holding him in attempts to be comforting. Consoling. To let him know that everything will be okay and that they'll figure something out and—

She doesn't know these things for sure though, but optimism has always been on her side thus far. She doesn't know why it wouldn't be now.

Her hold on him tightens slightly as she holds him closer, trying to formulate some type of verbal response other than her physical actions. When she speaks, her voice is somewhat shaky and quiet, as if she's uncertain about her words. In all honesty, she's not exactly sure how it'll help, but she says them nonetheless, adjusting her grip on him.]

...It's okay to cry, you know. It'll get everything off your chest, and you'll feel better.

I'm still here for you. I won't leave until you want me to, because... we're in this together, you know?

[The boy seizes up when Pacifica suddenly embraces him, but not entirely as a negative response. For a long time he just sits there, stunned, not sure what to make of this sudden gesture. For him, physical contact isn't uncommon. Heck, normally he's the one doing it first, particularly if it's to charm a girl into speechlessness. But this.....this wasn't anything like he was used to.

His breath stills when she speaks, his eyes staring blankly over her shoulder. Before the last words have left her lips he's already breaking down, his body trembling as he practically folds into her arms, his head slowly bowing until his face is pressed into her shoulder.

He does try to hold it back regardless of what she said, but it's really no use. His fingers tightly grip the material of the back of her blouse as he sobs wretchedly, for once letting out all of those tormenting emotions that he usually kept bottled up inside until it ended with someone being mutilated. It's sad to listen to, especially when one stops for a moment to remember....

...he's 12.
He likes to think he's got it all under control, but in actuality he's just a kid. A kid who grew up way too fast because he liked it that way, one who never gave himself a chance to actually be just that.
A kid.

And that's what Dipper Gleeful has suddenly amounted to.]

[As soon as he practically collapses in her arms, Pacifica holds him closer, occasionally running her hand up and down his back to comfort him. She's startled when he suddenly grips the back of her shirt but her shock is fleeting; she just lets him stay there within her arms to cry his heart out until he's content. She gently rocks him side to side, humming lightly to herself as she pats his back further, like what a mother would do with their child when they sought console.

It's so... odd seeing him break down like this, quivering beneath her arms, sobbing hysterically. She doesn't think that it's shameful, no, because as she mentioned, he's still human. No matter his reputation or disposition, he's still a human being, capable of emotions. And she can tell by the way he is now that he's never let such emotions show up until now, perhaps out of fear of seeming inferior. What she's seen of him is that stone-faced, cold-hearted, ruthless psychopath with no respect towards others' feelings that forced others to do his bidding.

But now, she's seen a side of him that, if she hadn't known any better, she wouldn't even believed could exist. She's sure if Gideon were to see him right now, he wouldn't even recognise him as the Dipper Gleeful he knew.

Though, those thoughts are irrelevant right now. Pacifica looks down at him, still cradling and rocking him, continuing to hum to herself. Rather, it's as if she's humming to try and lull or uplift him.]

[Pacifica's comforting is both incredibly foreign and welcomed at the same time. It seems like when she pulls him close and consoles him like that, it only prompts him to cry harder. He can't entirely help it, but for the moment he's lost all energy or will to really care.

This continues on for quite some time, until Dipper has reduced himself to uncontrollable gasping that he continues to stifle in Pacifica's shoulder. Thank God they're home alone. Then again, if anyone did walk in on them like this he probably wouldn't have been able to muster the incentive to drive them out.
When he finally starts to quiet down he finds himself leaning against the girl, practically curled in her embrace. Everything in him yearns for comfort and solace, and she's the source of that. It's....bizarre, really, but he doesn't care.

He continues to gasp as he turns his head slightly, hiding his face in her neck instead of her shoulder. Still he doesn't speak- mostly because he can't- but that simple gesture is enough to tell her what he wanted to say.

Thank you.]

[Pacifica gives a gentle smile and a nod at his gesture, letting her hand rest on his back for a few extra seconds as she finally stops rocking. Then she finally brings her hand up, playing with his hair or, at the very least, trying to bring it back to its former decency. She still continues to hold him, not planning on releasing him until he's ready to do so. So, she basks in the silence, idly playing with his brown locks, twirling some around her finger or tucking some to the side. After a while, she finally speaks up. Her voice is slightly teasing, but for the most part, it's genuine.]

So, feeling better, are we?

[The more she plays with his hair the more he relaxes and calms down, not moving from her arms even though traces of tears are still on his face. No doubt he's already made quite a mess of both of their shirts. He manages to grin slightly and give a slight nod, feeling quite spent after all that.]

...M-mostly.

[True, he doesn't feel better persay, but he doesn't feel the crushing depression and frustration that he did a few moments ago. He hadn't realized how much it was starting to build inside him until he finally let it all out.]

[She can't help but give a small laugh as she continues to mess with his hair, closing her eyes as she does so.]

Well, mostly is better than nothing. I told you it was better to let it out than keeping your feelings bottled in...

...I'm....surprised you're s-still here. ...With me.

[After all that, particularly.

He sighs, letting his head remain on her shoulder as she runs her fingers through his hair, the sensation sending chills down his spine. If it could be permit-able, he would be content to just sit here forever and never do anything else. While his accomplishments generally gave him a certain amount of satisfaction, something about this was lasting. Everything else was about instant gratification. He has yet to learn the long-term benefits of refraining from being absolutely horrible.]

Mm, what d'ya mean? Crying's lonely when you're alone, isn't it?

[She pauses for a moment, looking down at him.]

...I couldn't leave you alone by yourself, you know. ...I told you we were in this together.

[Dipper's smile grows only just, his eyes opening enough so he can look up at her. He'll be watching to see just how long she'll stick around like she keeps saying she will, because no matter what he'll be doubtful. ...But still.

His expression softens and he sits up a bit, not totally moving away from her just yet.]

Well.....consider this a token of my gratitude.

[With that, he leans forwards and kisses her again, though this time it's not at all like any of the other kisses he's ever given her. This one is incredibly gentle and slow, evident that he still doesn't quite know what he's doing entirely and yet doesn't want to make a mistake.
Really, he just wants to prove to her how much he really does appreciate what she's done for him.]

[She hadn't expected for him to kiss her again, so she blinks a few times in surprise before the reality sets in. Honestly, she should've been used to this by now, considering the many times they had done it before. Granted, they were brief, but the point still stands. It never fails to send her heart aflutter, but she does manage to keep her composure this time. Her eyes fall closed, and she's hit with memories all of a sudden. Memories of their first kiss actually. Despite his viewpoint of her back then, it does manage to make her smile.]

[He draws back after a moment to take a breath, but instead of moving in to give her another kiss he simply leans forwards and wraps his arms around her instead, falling into that same position of them embracing each other like before, only this time he isn't bawling.

The memory of their first kiss is pretty fresh in his mind as well. Not at all how he expected his first kiss to go, and not at all with the person he was expecting. Now, though, he's glad it happened.
Somehow, all of that led to this ultimatum anyway.

Dipper turns his head slightly so he can kiss her cheek, still sitting there with his arms comfortably around her as they sit there on the edge of his bed. His words are whispered, but honest, at the very least.]

I cannot promise immediate results, but....I'm going to try. ....to be better. For you.

for shipping's sake– i mean

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HOW DID WE GET TO SOAP OPERA-TIER...

I DON'T EVEN KNOW

the progress with these two is incredible

SERIOUSLYyyy I do NOT have any icons for this

NEITHER DO I... also i had to REWRITE THIS thanks Chrome

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